Yesterday was a day that made my heart heavy, but the sun is shining brighter today. My dear friend lost her sister yesterday, to a life long battle with CF (cystic fibrosis). This dear friend and I have lost touch since the early college years, but the memories we have shared throughout the years keep her ever so close in my heart and prayers always. As soon as I heard the news I was saddened, but really numb to it all. When I got home though, another great friend called me to tell the news that I had already heard and she shared her CarePage. After descending on her site, I immediately lost it and had to read every entry, all 22 pages of her journey through the final days of what was her earthly life. I went to bed feeling bittersweet, because she is leaving behind one of the most amazing families I know, along with a husband and two young baby girls. That was the bitter part. However, after spending time reflecting, the sweet part is really, very sweet. She will no longer have to live in pain here on earth, dealing with the toll CF had been taking on her body for too many years...she will get to be with the Lord, breathing deeply, smiling, and praising everyday. Because her days in heaven are and will be SWEET. And because they are so sweet, they will go by in a snap and sooner than she can realize, those very dear people will be walking down the streets of gold with her, as if time had stood still since she last saw them. How blessed are we to have such a hope as this?
What just seems like yesterday, were the days right around this time several years ago when we were losing my dear Gram, also like Katie, an angel here on earth. Someone who just oozed with the love of Jesus and was a true testament to all things good. It was beyond bareable to see someone suffer at the cost of a horrible disease and it still seems as though sometimes it can't be real that she is gone. And sometimes I even still feel bitter. But more often than not, I feel sweet. Because I know where she is and I know who she spends her days walking beside. How could I ever feel anything but joyful about that?
My heart is truly with this family right now and I feel as though my life has been put into perspective very quickly. I thought I would leave you with a letter her husband wrote today, the day after her passing, to reflect on. How poignant. I stand amazed.
Dearest friends and family,
When the prince kisses sleeping beauty she doesn't always wake up...
Our first real date was ten years ago. We went to the Ren fest because she was volunteering for the CF fundraiser wine auction. The weather on that day was almost exactly the same beautiful, crisp, sunny, hopfull weather that filled the air on the day she died.
The night before we had attended my friend Conor's birthday party, and had gone on a walk together that paused on a little bridge overlooking a pond. We felt a connection and a comfort in each others company that allowed her to share with me that she had CF (not something she really shared with people). After that walk when everyone had gone home I retraced our steps to that little bridge and wept because I knew I was falling in love with a girl for whom tomorrow was not assured...
Our 8 years of marriage held moments of deep heartach and soaring love. She changed the very fabric of my being, and challanged me to be more then I ever thought I could be. She fills the air around me with memories of her great beauty. There are NO words worthy of honoring who she was so don't worry about trying to find them to offer us comfort as we morn her. Because she touched your lives I KNOW you feel a peice of this great loss, and the greatest thing felt must go unspoken.
Those who knew Katie personally would aggree that she had the ability to focus your life, like a lens, on the only things that REALLY mattered. God... family... and friends.
She told me that the days in the ICU lifted a veil between her and Jesus, and that she understood Him more then she ever had.
All things pass in this life. Taking the time to know the only true God who sits on the throne of heaven and sat by her bed in that hospital is the most important thing you will ever do. What you way not realize is that those things that you really loved about my wife Katie, her kindness, hope, joy, peace, fierce defence of truth, love, acceptance of others right where they were, humor, PEACE IN THE VERY FACE OF DEATH, and willingness to challange each of us to grow, came directly from what she had learned while walking with Jesus. She was not a preachy person, but if you wish to know how to have the joy and peace she had look to the way she lived her life. Know that she rests in her Heavenly Fathers arms, and breaths deeply as she waits for those of us who know Him to join her someday. REST IN HOPES ARMS, AND CLOTH YOURSELVES IN JOY,
LOVE ALWAYS,
matthew robert wingard
What just seems like yesterday, were the days right around this time several years ago when we were losing my dear Gram, also like Katie, an angel here on earth. Someone who just oozed with the love of Jesus and was a true testament to all things good. It was beyond bareable to see someone suffer at the cost of a horrible disease and it still seems as though sometimes it can't be real that she is gone. And sometimes I even still feel bitter. But more often than not, I feel sweet. Because I know where she is and I know who she spends her days walking beside. How could I ever feel anything but joyful about that?
My heart is truly with this family right now and I feel as though my life has been put into perspective very quickly. I thought I would leave you with a letter her husband wrote today, the day after her passing, to reflect on. How poignant. I stand amazed.
Dearest friends and family,
When the prince kisses sleeping beauty she doesn't always wake up...
Our first real date was ten years ago. We went to the Ren fest because she was volunteering for the CF fundraiser wine auction. The weather on that day was almost exactly the same beautiful, crisp, sunny, hopfull weather that filled the air on the day she died.
The night before we had attended my friend Conor's birthday party, and had gone on a walk together that paused on a little bridge overlooking a pond. We felt a connection and a comfort in each others company that allowed her to share with me that she had CF (not something she really shared with people). After that walk when everyone had gone home I retraced our steps to that little bridge and wept because I knew I was falling in love with a girl for whom tomorrow was not assured...
Our 8 years of marriage held moments of deep heartach and soaring love. She changed the very fabric of my being, and challanged me to be more then I ever thought I could be. She fills the air around me with memories of her great beauty. There are NO words worthy of honoring who she was so don't worry about trying to find them to offer us comfort as we morn her. Because she touched your lives I KNOW you feel a peice of this great loss, and the greatest thing felt must go unspoken.
Those who knew Katie personally would aggree that she had the ability to focus your life, like a lens, on the only things that REALLY mattered. God... family... and friends.
She told me that the days in the ICU lifted a veil between her and Jesus, and that she understood Him more then she ever had.
All things pass in this life. Taking the time to know the only true God who sits on the throne of heaven and sat by her bed in that hospital is the most important thing you will ever do. What you way not realize is that those things that you really loved about my wife Katie, her kindness, hope, joy, peace, fierce defence of truth, love, acceptance of others right where they were, humor, PEACE IN THE VERY FACE OF DEATH, and willingness to challange each of us to grow, came directly from what she had learned while walking with Jesus. She was not a preachy person, but if you wish to know how to have the joy and peace she had look to the way she lived her life. Know that she rests in her Heavenly Fathers arms, and breaths deeply as she waits for those of us who know Him to join her someday. REST IN HOPES ARMS, AND CLOTH YOURSELVES IN JOY,
LOVE ALWAYS,
matthew robert wingard
1 comments:
That was beautiful Sarah. As I sit here with tears rolling down my face, I am so proud of you for the person you are today. I know Gram is proud too. xoxo
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