I'm not really sure what to blog about this eve, but I am bored because Howard is off playing basketball and I have a lot on my mind.
I feel as though my life is at a stand still and it makes me a little upset. Between the unknown and constant toiling with the house to not knowing what I will be doing or where I will be teaching next year is starting to eat away at me.
I just want to move on with my life and be "settled". Howard and I have been married for almost two years now and I have yet to feel "settled" here. I want to live in a home I love and have a job that is secure, then I think things will start to feel more stable.
I have never been a gypsy, (my dad would really like that one) I have always liked to know what is happening and when it's happening...I don't like to fly by the seat of my pants. I know that life can't be planned out, but I feel like the big parts should be a little bit.
I'm not so much worried about the job, because I know God will provide, but I'm just so sick of this house thing. It really was a lesson learned to not rush into buying something you weren't 100 percent about-but lesson learned already! I am just honestly so tired. Tired of cleaning, tired of making sure everything is pristine each morning before leaving (at 7:10 am mind you) and tired of getting rejected each time our home is shown. Call me Negative Nancy, but it's the truth. I just have to say it.
I definitely feel lucky to be able to afford a home at all and to have a roof over my head-I am just ready to focus my attention and energy on other things than worrying about this situation.
Please pray for our family, as we really need strength and peace of mind at this point.
I am praying for a miracle-that we will get an offer by the end of the week, because that is just how awesome God is. Anything can happen, and now I'm not just hoping-I'm WAITING!
Sisters
15 years ago
4 comments:
I love the "Negative Nancy" expression! Don't give yourself a time frame, just let it happen when it happens...then you won't be as disappointed. I know, easier said than done. God does listen and will provide with time and patience. xoxo
Dear Sarah, I just wrote you a long note and the computer erased it all.... I will try again
Hmmm,why am I so familiar with the feeling of wanting to be "in control" all the time? Why didn't we notice that we have so much in common when you were living here? We could had done lots shopping, laughing and whining together!
Honestly, you are not alone, I have a house I built and love, a good job, a lovely child, and I still am feeling unsettled. Why? I don't see us living in this town forever (winter alone is killing me) But I have faith, that God will lead and open doors for people like you and me, we just don't know when.
I cannot think of a better way to comfort you (and myself) other than my own OLD story.
I was feeling the "most settled" in Florida when I received an offer of this current job. 4 years of living in FL, part time teaching, part time waiting tables (hate it)
And God then said: "pack up and go"
I am waiting for Him to do the same for us, and I know, for you two as well. Take care.
Good Morning Sweet Niece,
There are so many people hurting right now who have lost their homes and their jobs. You know it's up to Aunt B to preach--so I'm reminding you of your many wonderful BLESSINGS in life "as it is."
I remember being your age and always wishing for the next stage of my life for answers. Sometimes where you presently are is really a good place--don't miss it. We just aren't thankful enough for "a boring day" or an "uneventful time" in our lives. We have to remember to be thankful every single day for whatever we have.
Done preaching...thank you for listening to Aunt B!
I love you
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